1 1/2 cups unbleached flour (Or 1 3/4 cups gluten free flour mix)
3/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup water
1 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
Run the flames of perdition through your stove until it’s 666° (well, really only about half that much, say around 350°).
Then put all that shit in a big ass bowl and mash it together. Pick it up and ball it up and throw that mother fucker down on a cookie sheet or a pizza stone or some other bullshit flat thing.
Roll that bitch out nice and flat. Then toss it into the aforementioned hell fire filled oven and let it roast in torment until the surface starts to crack like the souls screaming in eternal agony while you laugh with mirth.
Remove the crust and let it chill the fuck out for a while.
Now decorate it with tomatoe sauce to represent blood sacrifice, and lots of meat because, hey, real sacrifice! Remember, a pizza without meat is unethical, immoral, tasteless and generally stupid. Now top that bastard with your favorite cheese, toss it back in to the hellfire until the cheese melts like the faces of the Nazis in the first Indiana Jones film.
Yank it back out stuff it in your fuckin’ face!